Can you learn how to write?

Can you learn how to write? Lots of people have made a mint writing books saying that you can. I’ve read some of them myself and found them interesting and informative. I also learned a lot from a writing course I took a few years ago. When I came back to study as an adult I thought I would come out of it with a qualification to do the thing I had studied for: writing. It's not that I had aimed for it; but I was looking for something constructive to do now that my children were old enough to raise themselves. I'd read the syllabus and found it interesting and thought what the heck! I'll enjoy myself studying something interesting and be a writer into the bargain.

I was really impressed that most of my classmates had brought a manuscript along with them to the course. I felt right out of it. All I had with me was a notebook, a pen and a yearning to have a novel of my own. I did churn out several chapters when studying Novel Writing, but they weren't worthy of being recycled into door stops let alone being published. By the end of the first year I learned that I was never going to be a novel writer.

I don’t know how many of my friends published after they left, but I did learn that it wasn’t so easy even if you had something worthwhile to offer. Most publishers don’t take unsolicited manuscripts. Offerings go to what is called in the industry a ‘slush pile’. If you ever hear back from the publishers it’s months later, after you’ve inquired a couple of times (not too often to bug them) and usually it’s a standard form letter to tell you they don’t want it. If you’re thinking you might want to spread your wings and send your manuscript to a few publishers at a time – don’t. Publishers don’t like it.

If you want to be off the slush pile and have your manuscript seriously considered (although not necessarily accepted) you need an agent. But their books are often full and most won’t take you anyhow unless you’ve published.

And even if you get your manuscript accepted, the advance isn’t much to speak of and given our small population in Australia, neither will the royalties be, but you need to pay back for the advance before the royalties are yours.

A blockbuster is what you need. Most of our top notch writers like Bryce Courteney or Colleen McCulloch, have the market sewn up, and the rest of us get what’s left over. They began with blockbusters and have kept the momentum going ever since. But even you could luck it like lucky Nicholas Evans did. He was a first time author who wrote the Horse Whisperer. It sold 15 million copies worldwide, and to quote the Amazon blurb: ‘the film option was snapped up by aging heartthrob Robert Redford for 3 million smackers.’ His ‘How To’ book if he wrote one would be worth reading, but in the end it’s how he did it, not how we would go about doing it.

Once I’d accepted that novel writing wasn’t for me, I settled down and enjoyed my course. There was a journalism type subject, short story, novel writing, writing for radio to name just a few. And each subject linked into the other. Even if you’re writing an article, you need to know how to grab a reader’s interest. When you write fiction, you still need to keep to the integrity of background information. There’s nothing more annoying than to have the historical context: dress, attitudes of the time and even the style of dialogue, wrong.

You can learn to write and taking a writing course will enhance what skills you already have, but I’m not sure that you can learn to be a writer in the same way you can take a course and come out a lawyer or a doctor or a teacher. Unsurprisingly not everyone has a novel in them. But people who are attracted to writing courses generally discover what skills they do have and their niche, whether it’s in advertising, or article writing or even setting up blogs of their own. Whether or not you become a 'real writer', I don’t think anything you learn is ever wasted.

On Revising and Real Writers

Although I have not dipped into my ideas box for a while I’m giving up all pretense of not writing anything at all till next year. If for no other reason than keeping my typing fingers and brain cells limber, I’ll keep on going with ‘On’ series for a bit. (Ooh, the ‘On’ series! How grand to have a blog of your very own and not worry about how dopy that sounds)

I’m told that there’s a filter between brain and tongue that allows you to revise everything you say before you say it. I can think of a variety of situations I’ve found myself in where it would have been handy to own one. My tendency is to speak and then pay for the consequences. It gets me into more trouble more often than my granddaughters who can at least be excused as they are still growing and developing that brake on their tongue.

Revising the written word, is another matter altogether; that’s where I excel. I have restructured and revised the above paragraph at least five times (six times as of this morning) and before I’m done with this piece, I am sure I will revisit and restructure once more.

Someone once wrote that if you find yourself modifying a short note excusing your child from gym practice, you know you’re a writer. I think it was Danny Katz. Although I most definitely don’t put myself in his league, I’m a great admirer. He is an Australian writer who writes witty pieces for newspapers and magazines, but he’s right about the note. For those of you who haven’t grown up learning the art of letter writing, it is a handwritten form of e-mail done on hard copy and sent by, gasp, snail mail where it takes at least one day to arrive at its destination. I write up my e-mails in a Word document before cutting and pasting into the e-mail window. Then I give it a once-over, just in case, before sending.

The above could prove that I am a real writer, but my need to revisit every line that I write could also have to do with the fact that I have a compulsive personality. I need to eat each packet of chips down to the last few crumbs, then use a finger to coax the salt out where it’s lurking in the corner of the packet. When I smoked I couldn’t have a few puffs and stop; I’d have smoked the butts if it was possible. Thank goodness it wasn’t possible. Given my tendency to compulsion, I knew that the only way I was going to stop was to go what we call ‘cold turkey’. It was a painful process but it worked for me. No crutches like nicotine tablets or patches; I just knew someone like me would only transfer the addiction from the cigarettes to the cure.

Does it make you a writer if you revise sms text messages? I don’t do that too often as I have an old fashioned type of mobile that requires much thumb pressing. But I do refuse to make things easier on myself by abbreviating the words. I can’t get myself to limit communication to a bunch of letters and numbers: no C U 4 lunch, 4 me.

My son and I have arguments about lyrics versus music. Guess which side of that debate I’m on. Today’s lyrics are indecipherable. Strain as I do, I can’t make them out. My son assures me that this is desirable. Young people don’t want to be burdened with words. It’s all about sound and video clips. I’m not sure whether or not preferring to hear a story even if it’s in rhyme makes me a real writer. Possibly that’s why I’m stuck in the sixties with Simon and Garfunkle and Dylan. Possibly not in my lifetime, but I’m sure the pendulum will swing back some day soon.

On Ideas

Even if I did say goodbye a couple of posts ago (till next year), I seem to be finding the energy to do just one more. It’s 11pm here and I have the house and the computer all to myself, a rare occurrence in this household, at this moment, as I’m outnumbered by grandchildren keen to surf the Net.

It’s marvellous isn’t it? One granddaughter has only just started school and already has the hang of it all. Pretty soon we’re going to set up an email account and slap a keyboard or an iphone into a newborn baby’s hands and let their fingers do the walking.
I’d like to tell you where my ideas come from, but I don’t really know. My guess is that my subconscious picks up on something and chews it over for a bit before offering it up to me as a fully blown idea.

You’ll have noticed that my ideas on this blog come from the same source: my grandchildren. But as I’ve mentioned before, the ideas aren’t any good without the rest of it. That’s the bit that takes a lot of hard work. I occasionally look out for ideas for a particular market or just to get myself started on the next project, sometimes an idea can foist itself on you when you’re not looking.

I’ve had this idea for a short story for years and it’s still tucked into the back of an old notebook. (Don’t you steal my idea.) I call it ‘Mistresses Galore.’ I noticed a truck pass me by one day that said: Mattresses Galore but I had misread it. I jotted it down in the notebook that I keep in my pocket for such occasions. Then I tried out different scenarios in my mind, one of them being that on the way to visit a woman in hospital, a man sees the van and misreads it. It was a Freudian slip. This man is on his way to visit one of his elderly mistresses. She was beautiful once, and exciting, now she’s old and sick and has become quite cantankerous. As he walks along, he remembers how each woman came into his life and how it was great until it all went wrong and how now he is stuck with a bunch of elderly, needy lovers. I’ve let this idea stew in the sub-conscious for years and am still waiting for inspiration to push itself to the forefront Another variation on it, is that these elderly, long gone lovers are in the van waiting for him to join them.

Talk to you next year. No, really. No more repeat performances. Really.

On Editors

I wasn’t going to write any more till late January at least, but it’s past midnight and I can’t sleep. It isn’t late in the scheme of things if you’re an insomniac or if you are young but I don’t fit into either category. I find myself up and about tonight when everyone else is sensibly refreshing those little grey cells.

I’m sure that I’ll pay for it tomorrow because it’s going to be hectic, but I thought that a quick session between my computer and myself might help settle me down.

Even though I’ve said in my previous post that you need to have an angle for a piece or else you’re wasting your time and your words, I’ve decided to indulge myself this once and see where it takes me. Possibly not far, but the beauty of it is that as I’m both writer and editor of this journal I can please myself; at least for the time being, till my compulsive need to revisit and revise takes over.

When I have a piece professionally published and paid for, it’s usually the end of that particular journey. Once I’ve worked and reworked a piece it’s out of my hands. I have to hope that the person who reads my peace will be sensitive to it. If you have published in the same place more than once, you get to know the editor and at least get to know what to expect.

The thing is, if you want to be published you have to accept that once someone has bought your baby, you lose control. Someone else gets to edit it and decide what to keep and what to leave out. That’s not always a negative thing. Sometimes I’m too close to be objective and what ends up in print makes it better not only for the publication but for me. A good editor takes away what’s necessary without disturbing the essence of the piece.

The thing is, that if it turns out badly, then the reader usually blames the writer for it. As in any other profession, editors will come in all shapes and sizes. There are the good ones, the bad ones and the ‘what the hell have you done to my piece’ types. Sometimes they will cut your precious words down so they can fit it in an advertisement or another piece on the page. I had an awful experience (just once) where every reference that would have made my piece meaningful was cut out, as evidenced by the fact that the illustrator understood what I meant when he read the piece and the editor did not when he cut things down. (They had obviously not consulted one another.) You can decide to complain, in which case you might not have a chance again at that particular market, or you might decide to never submit there again which limits your choices, or you might hope that that editor moves on to some other publication and butcher somebody else’s work.

A good editor needs to know a lot more than just about tone and grammar and structure; a good editor is like a good GP and knows a little bit about a lot of topics.
Even though I get paid for it, once that piece is in print I will happily forget it and move on to writing something else.

I hope people have liked the child I’ve produced and put on display but strangely it’s not the child but the audience that’s my main consideration. Here I am, my own electronic market, and enjoying pleasing myself, but I do often wonder what sort of people they are who drop in (some of them regulars) from different parts of the globe, and read my work. And what is it that they find they like that makes them regulars.

I find the thought fascinating that they must relate to some of the things I’ve had to say here; because even though the French say vive le difference and I’m all about celebrating our differences, at the core of things and where it counts, I’m sure we’re the same.

On Writing

Even when it's a piece about writing, I seem to have to revise. This is my second and hopefully last revision.

‘On Writing’ sounds grand, doesn’t it? I don’t pretend to know much, but I’m happy to share what I do know – about my own style of writing.

It’s not that I think that I can offer anything to any budding writers out there that more established ones haven't already done but as I’m working it out for myself, I thought I might as well put it down in my electronic notebook and share it with whoever is interested; I have read some advice given by more established writers. When I’ve liked it, it has been because it wasn’t pretentious, but straight forward and sounded sensible.

But what works for those writers doesn’t necessarily always work for me. Perhaps that's why they are published more often than I am. But I think that if I end up getting it right, it's because I have been true to myself and found my own path.

I had to find my own voice, such as it was. And that had to do with a lot of writing. I call it brain aerobics. As with the physical type, you need to use it or expect to lose it.

While I can confirm that the more mental aerobics you do the easier it becomes, it’s still a slow process for me. I must admit that since having gone public I’ve gone from one idea developed over a period of several months to getting it together in two or three weeks.

I keep on wanting to revise my pieces. I don't think I'm alone there, I've heard of other people who do that. Even after I submit them I wish I could have them back and change some glaring error that I’ve picked up.

Like everybody else who wants to write, I also have a notebook on me wherever I am and will jot down an idea when it comes to me. Sometimes I’ll sit at a cafe and write descriptions of people that are around me. I’ll detail their features, their dress and what they are doing at the time and then I will make an imaginary character analysis. I will also take detailed notes of my surrounds and the atmosphere. Whether or not you use it later, I think it’s not only a good writing exercise, but also a chance to notice what you’re looking at through a writer's eyes. Somebody once told me that when on holidays, the way she had seen and noted things around her as a tourist was different to when she started writing. It wasn't a conscious effort, she'd just discovered a different way of looking at what was there.

There are two things that I think are universal to all people who write. Everybody says that writing is a lonely business. That’s true. Some people can collaborate on their work (I can’t) but mostly it’s a one on one experience, between you and your notebook or computer. You can ask your family how they like your piece but even when they’re being highly positive and effusive about it, you can’t help wondering if it’s bias talking. Some writers get together to workshop and that can be helplful when you're beginning, but in the end you have to decide for yourself if a piece is good, then once you’ve polished it out of all existence you have to let go of it and let an editor decide. Submit!

Everyone agrees that it’s one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration. You come up with a good idea and jot it all down in your note book. Later, when it comes to actually putting it together, you stare and stare, trying to get an angle that will start you off on your (my) painful journey. My angle seems to mutate as I go, but I need to have it first. If I start without one, I tend to ramble aimlessly. A waste of time and energy.

I admire newspaper journalists or magazine writers who have been given a commission to write. Now there's mental aerobics for you, especially in the case of the Newspaper journos. They are constantly and consistently putting articles together to a deadline. Others, myself for example, begin with the inspiration and write in a red hot heat for a bit then I pace myself through the perspiration part. I think that’s why I moved from having this blog as some sort of electronic journal to opening it up to public view. I’m finding it inspiring that people who read my pieces might expect more of me than one every few months.

Assuming I have anything more to say about writing, I will add more to these musings (rants) as they come to me.

On a non-writing note, two of my grandchildren, the ones I can’t stop writing about, are coming to stay with me for the next few weeks. I find I can’t focus as well while they are here taking up my energies. There’s a different type of mindset happening when they are here. So, things are likely to be a lot slower till they leave. If I don’t get back to visit till late January, then Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and my best wishes to you all.